logical meltdown

You know the moment when completely caught off guard by a statement of fact, a decision, something that affects you completely and yet you had no control, no say in it, it feels like you were slapped awake from a dream, and you have to shake off what was once in your head to the reality before you.
After years of trying to sell their flower shop, my mother and stepfather are glad to be rid of it. And this frees them to move, to get new jobs, to not be self employed and have some sense of weight of duty lifted from them. After years of talking about her desire to move to Washington, my mother might finally have her dream. I can't be sad about this, well, in regards to them- I know the change will be a relief for them. But when I was told, my mind went blank and reverted to what it always does- "okay, possibility A, possibility B,C,D,E; or maybe part of A and C" until my logic carries me to the best conclusion, and I choose from there. At least that was what carried me through so many years of time. And this time, well, this time it's different.
My life already carried it's uncertainties, with leaving the church I was attending, with feeling at odds with school. And yet, for some time now, I have felt the desire to stay here and finish school here. I prayed and felt like I should finish what I started, that the skills gained would not be in vain, and the stability of some routine. It was, and remained until now the most logical conclusion. I had prayed months ago to move to Washington, and to do an internship with my old college pastor at his new church. I could intern and work, and wait out the year until the non-resident fees passed and then I could be considered a Washington resident and pay as much as everyone else. But then it seemed I was interning at a church for the sake of time, rather than a call and real desire. That was also when I made enough money working to live with my dad without it being any real burden to him. And since then, God led me to quit my job, to leave my old church, and once again renew my views in light of his control of my life. I will be making enough money to "make it by" in light of the current living situation I am in with my mother and stepfather, not in terms of living with my father who rents a room out of a condo and is saving up for retirement.
Every one of my logical conclusions has been defeated in one way or another, and I find that my normal fallback would mean I would not be placing my life and faith in God's hands.
It amazes that at this point, in this moment, that this is what is placed before me. And at the same time, that God knew it was coming. God was never blindsided by it all, never surprised, caught off guard, shocked, or nearly in tears. He has my adventure in His hands.

I wonder about all the things I have prayed about. Since I have so much more to fear, there is that much more reason to have faith? Since my life is changing in a way that I had not predicted, will my prayers become more real? And since my sense of control, since it has been slowly taken away, will I now even more know that my life is out of my hands? (We can all say this, but does it truly resonate?) My humaness trembles and my spirit rejoices. Here the praying begins.